Two of the most closest people to me said something, something that although did not sound like a swear, should be considered in the group of swearing words. You want to hear it? Shall I tell you?
Don’t get mad at me
Ready?
“Sometimes in life you have got to be Selfish”
There I said it, I had promised myself never to repeat it, but I had to share it with someone, and that someone had to be YOU.
At first I was stumbled, how do people even say that out aloud? Its inhumane right?
But after a little while, well, what wrong with it? The world is full of selfish people and nobody is going round pushing them off cliffs. So they won’t to me right? Right?
And so enter My ‘Villain Era’ (add a cackled evil laugh)
For 2024 I have decided I am going to be a ‘Villain’, they have more fun don’t they? I think.
What is the Villain Era?
Right before you think I’m going to turn into a Cruella Deville, or Bellatrix Lestrange (I already have the black hair so that will help loads), Lets pause and get a grasp of what Villain Era is.
It really is not as bad as it sounds, Villain Era basically means putting yourself first even if others do not like it, living unapologetically, saying ‘No’ more often and basically being a little more selfish at your own expense.
Why the Villain Era?
Well the reality is as women, we are supposed to be nice, helpful, kind, compassionate, vulnerable, empathetic, honest, nurturing…. I could go on and on really couldn’t I?
As a Indian Women, its even worse, we have to be selfless, self-sacrificing, devoted, polite, tolerant, docile….. really you need more?
And after doing all of the above for 40 years of my life, I’m exhausted, I’m truly and utterly exhausted. I have no more energy to give, and I felt resentment creeping in…. and so ….
Enter Villain Era
How I’m entering my Villain Era
Say ‘No’ more. That’s another swear word that is, the first time I used it I felt guilty for a couple of weeks. I overcompensated by doing more than what was asked for me. Now I’m getting a little better at it.
There are helpful ways of saying ‘No’ and I just got to learn the trick of it. I have also got to accept that I do not owe anyone an explanation for saying ‘No’.
Here’s to more ‘No’ in the future
The famous ‘B’ Word! – Boundaries. (I feel like this post is full of swear words.)
One thing I learnt about Boundaries is that the people that take offense when you place a boundary are usually the ones who benefited from not you having any in the first place.
Keep those boundaries in place and remember why you have them.
Toxic People– Remove them.
It can absolutely take years for us to figure out that person we know and love is toxic, but when you realise it, its time to walk away.
Value yourself by walking away.
Read here: Toxic people, top 10 indicators.
And lastly and this one is a little strange,
Communication is key.
Doesn’t sound very villain does it? but this one is actually Gold! Entering the Villain Era means that people have to accept a new version of you, and for that communication is key. Be upfront about your expectations, about your needs.
Make sure your voice and your actions match, and make sure you are heard. Loud and Clear.
This one is the hardest one for me, but I’m sure the more situations that I voice myself, the more easier it will get.
So
For 2024 Let me reintroduce myself.
Follow me on Insta? No? Why not? Find me here
Love and regards
