I’ll be there for you….

Going through a mid-life crisis, I Have decided to end my business of 6 years as an Event planner, I’ve put alot of people in suprise as I decided spontaneously and at the peak of my business.

Why have I done this? Well in pure simplicity- it’s because I’m tired, and I feel I lost people whilst running after this business. As much as I am grateful for how successful I became, how much I achieved, and the blessings of wealth. It’s time for me to stop. Running your own business has its own pros and cons, and at this moment in time, the cons are outweighing the pros.

The Lovecake.co family- a very tired looking us after an event. My business runs with the help of my sister in law Afsha, and my friend Banu. Our Awesome Threesome runs with alot of love, laughter, insults and determination. I wouldn’t be as successful without these two behind me holding me up.

Eid came and went, and wedding season hit us. Whilst battling our already lack of time with events on every other day, my dearest grannie of the age of 93 got admitted into hospital. With the language barrier being a issue, and generally because she is a very needy person who will not stay alone for a second, we had to arrange rotas between the family members to make sure that someone was at her bedside at all times. It was quite an exhausting time for all of us, but honestly each and every one of us pulled through to help her as much as we could.

My beautiful granni. Soldiering on. Her arms are so frail.

This made me think of the importance of friends and family.

According to the dictionary, family is ” A group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit”. Theoretically this is me and my family. But looking at it from a different angle, the term “Family” has a broader meaning.

We are brought up with this notion that friends and family are two different things, for me this is so untrue, as I have family who are more like friends to me, and I have family who are related by blood and connections within the family itself and are just it. Family. And I have friends who I consider as family….

In this day and age, where there is a reinvention of the ‘modern family’. I don’t believe that any one person would define family in the same way- or Evan as the dictionary defines it. Everyone has there own understanding of the term ‘Family’.

A simple example is my hubby’s friends, he defines them as ‘Bros’. They are his first point of contact. One phonecall and they are outside the house- and this works both ways. To me they are his friends- to him it’s more than that, as he would choose them before quite a few other members of family.

My ‘Bros’. My childhood friends. We have been through it all from childhood crushes, to heartbreak, marriage and children, now moving on to be the dreaded Mother in law group… (One of my friends son has just recently got engaged. Congrats Nas)

As you grow older you learn who your real friends and family are, this all comes at an expense of heartache, frustration and hurt. I’ve always been a person who accepts people for who they are, as they are, and my mother’s golden words ” if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all ” was definitely the right piece of advice- as i may be tolerant to this- but others are not, and eventually true colours of people come out. I’ve been stung a few times, but if anything it helped me grow and allowed me to see who the real people in my life are.

With age comes responsibility, and as we get consumed within our responsibility of husband’s/ partners/ extended family/children/ work…it gets difficult to keep in touch with friends. Only true friends understand this. And along the way we meet more people, some stick around and most ‘waft’ in and out of our lives. One such person became a true gem in my life. On initial meeting, I thought she’d be a ‘wafter’ being my husband’s friends (one of his bros) wife, and honestly although we got along we both had reservation with each other. On one of my most lowest point in life- she came in. She listened when it was time to listen, she was quiet when I needed peace. And she took over when I needed time to myself. No intervening, no pressure, no questions. At that point I knew she was a keeper… The rest of the time she drives me insane.

The Insane ‘Wafter’ that stayed.

I’ve been brought up with two brothers, being the only girl in the family- I would say for the first 18 years of my life, I missed out on having a sister…. After this I was gifted with two.

The 💓of my life.

My sister in law’s (yes! my husband’s sister). I really am the luckiest person in the world to be gifted with them. These two have seen me at my worst, and at my best, and still love me unconditionally. They know my interests and what makes me happy, and they try and fulfill it for me. My Rock Katija has stood by my side, when I felt alone, watched as I cried, picked me up when I was down, and told me some hard truths (that I needed to hear) with only my best interests in heart- all this while dealing with things and issues of her own. And Sabina – if I say ‘One in a million’ it’s an understatement, she’s ‘ One in a Billion’ and anyone who has met her will agree with me. Just her name puts a smile to anyone’s face. A golden heart and happy go lucky nature’s makes us love her Evan more.

All these wonderful people have weaved in and out of my life when I needed them the most. They have supported me in anything I do, gone with my crazy moments, and cried with me at my lowest and I am forever grateful for them. If there was a term that was more important than ‘family’ and ‘friend’ then the people above fit into that category.

For me both Friend and Family mean the same. Regardless of blood relations, these are the people by your side when you need them the most. They are the people that love you unconditionally, that help you grow, that accept your faults. And no matter how long you go without seeing them, when you meet, it’s though you were together all along.

I love you all.

M11bna.

m11bna

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